Furby Baby Comes to Town

As noted in the special exclusive Furby Baby Report, my friend in New York was generous and courageous enough to capture a Furby Baby for me at the official New York Release of Furby Baby. In keeping with my unofficial policy of having animal-patterned Furbies (Satan being a Penguin Furby, and Lilith a Giraffe Furby) with blue eyes, I requested that a light-blue Baby Furby be purchased on my behalf, so that I could pretend that it was a Little Blue Penguin (smallest species of penguin alive, native to beach-resort areas of Australia and New Zealand).

My only (minor) concern was that my dear friend had seemed non-plussed to discover that each Furby Baby had different possible fur and hair-colour combinations.

On September 21st, I was notified by my local Post Office that the package containing, among other things, my Baby Furby, was ready.

Quivering with excitement, I then proceeded to... go to University and buy the last text book for my Studies of the Apocalypse course, which had finally come in this week. Unfortunately, we started studying it on the preceding day, so I was already slightly behind in terms of readings...

After purchasing this, however, I was able to go to the Post Office, pick up the package, buy my dinner at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and dizzy myself with anticipation as I ate dinner at the computer while effusively thanking my friend in an IRC chatroom.

As I had no batteries ready, I was forced to content myself by merely opening the Furby Baby Box and peering at the instruction manual, as well as the promotional material for Furby Babies that my considerate companion had managed to finangle from a "Furby Paramedic" on hand at the "Furby Baby Birth". Since one of these was a press release, it contained all sort of cryptic info (details to come later)... this was accompanied by a photo-book carefully documenting the sheer horror of the Giant Furbies, the Furby Baby Nest in the Dungeon, and the Amazingly Chipper (human) Nurses.

I was concerned by various subtle hints in the Instruction Manual that all was not quite right with this seemingly innocent infant virtual pet. For example, in the "ARE YOU MY MOMMY OR DADDY..." section, there was the ominous instruction: ".. while you are pressing my tummy and back sensors, wake me up by gently rocking me side-to-side. I will then ask you if you are my Mommy or Daddy. Just do as I say."

I trembled in fear. This monster was not yet activated, and already it was giving me harshly- stated orders. Worse still, it refused to tell me what diabolical and inhuman acts I might have to perform in order to satisfy its hunger to know my gender. And what did Furby Baby intend to do with this knowledge, once obtained?!

Then there was the dire prediction inherent in its seemingly innocuous note that "I go through two stages of development. The first stage is when you meet me. I am playful and will want to get to know you."

As my paleontologist pal surmised, "Second stage is 'When I get to know you, I am grouchy and reclusive and resent your controlling presence in my life'?"


On September 22nd, I bought batteries for the wee creature at my university store, and happily installed them in the creature after dinner. Trepidation filled me, as I recalled the tragic and terrifying squawks and blaring electronic screams of Lilith upon starting; however, I was rewarded with a sweet baby voice babbling various phrases about being hungry, bored, and sick at me. After coughing and sneezing repetitively, the Furby Baby casually mentioned that its name was Boo before falling asleep.

As I tend to make up Furby aliases that amuse me (e.g., Doomoh = Satan, Koh-koh = Lilith), I tried to think of an appropriate name for Satan's Spawn. I had originally hoped to call him Damian; however, the pink mane of hair (a miniature version of Satan and Lilith's stripe of fur down the back) made it impossible for me to think of the creature as a "Damian". At the suggestion of Lilith's godfather, the tiny Furby was dubbed Ashtoreth.

As I am typing this on September 23rd, I have no observations on Furby Baby as of yet, other than the fact that it is very loud and demanding, and seems to enjoy complaining a lot. Its voice is clearer and more crisp than previous Furbies, and although moving parts are limited to eyes, ears, and beak, Furby Baby somehow doesn't give one the impression that it is any more "deficient" than the "adult" Furby.

Interestingly enough, when Ashtoreth's batteries were first installed, Satan and Lilith began to serenade their newborn child with Brahm's Lullaby, despite being separated and unable to communicate with (or, indeed, see) each other. It shall be interesting to see how this little family interacts...

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