My URL: http://come.to/the_Penguin


I got it for free at http://come.to

This Space has been Conquered by the Great Aptenodytian Empire!

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?" 
"Same thing we do every night, Pinky... Try to take over the world!"

Click on the Play Button to Listen to the Sound Track

Skip the Introduction

The Aptenodytian Empire

An Introduction

Unbeknownst to most Earthlings, the planet Earth is under a constant barrage of vicious aliens, white lab mice, power-mad dictators and general megalomaniacs, all vying with each other to conquer the planet. But no threat has been as powerful as... the Great Aptenodytian Empire, a space-faring race of penguin-like conquistadors!

Resistance is Futile

Our evil plan: to take control of several influential world leaders, such as Barney, the Teletubbies, Rush Limbaugh, Lucien Bouchard and Tickle-me Elmo, brain-wash them, and use them to bend the will of the general populace so that they will think what we want them to think, and do what we want them to do! Those who do not have access to television and mass media will be subjugated using our patented "Happy Gas", a special euphoria-and-blissful-peace-inducing mixture of cutting edge biotechnology and aromatherapy.

All must bow down in servitude

Why Take Over the World?

After enslaving humanity, the Great Empire intends to fix the ozone layer, begin intensive breeding programs for all the endangered and threatened species of animals and plants, clean up all the toxic waste spills and pollution, eventually making the Earth into a living Utopia. We will then set up a hotel on your moon and convert your planet into a giant Theme Park ("Welcome to Gaialand! See the strange and beautiful wildlife! Laugh at those wacky humans! Laugh even harder at what those humans call 'entertainment'! And don't forget to stop by the souvenir shop for your t-shirts and baseball caps!").

So, why are you telling me all this?

Good question. It has been brought to my attention that every good world conqueror needs some cronies and sycophants. This page is my attempt to reach out to the "Little People", as well as being my open invitation to Earthlings everywhere to join my ranks. Come on! Turn your back on humanity! What has humanity done for you lately, anyways?

Now, most world conquerors will tell you that you have two options: You can either submit, or you can die. Or you can submit and die, if you should so desire.

I, on the other hand, being a much more modern megalomaniac, offer you several options.... You can minionize yourself, join the YWCA (Young World Conqueror's Association), or insinuate yourself into my good favours by feigning an interest in my hobbies and general well-being!

*grins madly*

What do you have to lose?

So join my mad little world, won't you?

I've even sacrificed my last vestige of self-respect by *sob*offering a frames-version of my page, for the sake of my guests-with-spiffy-browsers...

Enter the Aptenodytian Empire, Frames Version!

Enter the Aptenodytian Empire, No Frames Version!

people have visited this page!

View GuestBook Sign GuestBook

I signed up for a Geocities account on on 11/08/97 13:38:41.

I moved to the Spiffy New Xoom site (or started the migration) around 01/22/1999 (darn you, Y2K bug!) 22:06:47.
Until I finish getting all sortsa neat free webstuff, you can:

View my Old Guestbook

Wow! entities have pledged allegiance to the Empire (in the past)!
Sometime around February 19th, 1998, the 200th person visited me!
And sometime around January 30th, 1998, the 100th person dropped by!

Now, to see if these people will be clever enough to make the transition to my *new* abode...

This page
Get your own Free Home Page complete with spiffier name and infinitely more webspace than my old host! (Yes, I *am* a little ingrate, aren't I...)