February Rant Snippety-bra! Woof! New Warriors Appear! (A look at the Beast Wars Metals Episode 2) (and Episode 3 "Come back, Convoy!". Apparently I scrawled my observations on these two eps on the same notepad sheet.)

As far as I know, I never actually saw Coming of the Fuzors. So I am severely hampered by a lack of anything to compare this to, and will have to rely on any pals to whom I subject this video to confirm how well the episode conforms to the English original. The pre-episode "Remember to watch the show in a well-lit room at a good distance from the TV!" message is voiced-over by the chatty Dinobot. As well, a written message scrawled by the voice actor for Dinobot appears on the screen, purportedly penned by the character himself. Beast Wars Metals is one of the few series that goes to this trouble; usually it's a default message that is printed on screen. In this episode, we are introduced to Quickstrike and Silverbolt. Quickstrike is a loud-mouthed tough-talking thug who ends his sentences with "-gitchon" or "-snippety". And he refers to his snake-hand-tail as "my nether mouth". (I'll be a gentleman and avoid the obvious joke.) The, ah, nether-mouth apparently has a mind of its own, and squeaks things like "Cobracobracobra!" as it attempts to bite others. (Although, in retrospect, it could be an elaborate hand-puppet upon which QS exercises his powers of ventriloquism.) Silverbolt is, as far as I can tell, a stereotypical Golly-Gee-Whiz earnest polite young American who speaks Japanese with a bit of an accent and keeps on tossing English phrases into his utterances. As I have no idea how to translate this mild cultural insensitivity, I will simply denote it by partially translating it and adding a doggy woof. Oh, and he's still Fast, Strong, and Pure (not necessarily in that order). There are several other examples of splendid silliness on the part of the translators. For example, Waspinator (upon seeing the moon), sagely observes: "Hmmm... Golden... round... that reminds me of something!" and flies off to get the Golden Disk. (As compared to the original English line: "One moon now... those markings... Waspinator knows!".) When Dinobot goes to nab the disks, we are subjected to a cute, endearing, or tiresome (I'm still not sure which) scene with Naviko-chan the Destron Navigatrional Computer. As Dinobot lurks about in the mud, Naviko-chan scans the area, whining about wanting to hurry home (?) and make dinner for her dearest Megsie (?!). Naviko-chan: "Hmm, what should I make for Mega-chan's dinner tonight? We had hamburgers last night, so maybe... I know! I'll make [couldn't decipher what she says, due to bad sound quality]! Oooh, but I'm not sure if we have any meat in the refrigerator, so-- Eeek!" Thankfully, this bizarre stream-of-consciousness is dammed by Dinobot, whose thuggish ways and wacky banter are quickly winning my heart. Another example of silliness is when Megatron coerces Quickstrike and Silverbolt into joining the Predacon team. This is mostly a straight translation of the English scene, only with a bunch of "Snippety!" "Bonk!" and other speech quirks tossed in. BW Metals Megatron has an easier time getting Quickstrike and Silverbolt to join, as everyone has the same activation code in this series as far as I can tell. (They all just shout "Henshin!" or "Transform!".) The silliness strikes unexpectedly, right before cutting to a commercial, as Megatron chummily puts his arms around Quickstrike and Silverbolt. Megatron: "Now, smile at the camera... look natural... good, good... " This sort of self-conscious awareness of the fourth wall runs rampant throughout the series, so I'll probably only note the really glaring examples. Incidentally, right before/after cutting to commercial, there is a brief shot of a character transforming. Their name appears below them as disembodied voices snarl out "Beast Wars Metals!", apparently under the impression that slurring a word lends credibility to its pronounciation. From the third episode or so onwards, this is also accompanied by the character doing a brief little introduction of themselves (e.g. "I'm Waspinator, buuuun! Hope you're enjoying the show!"). Again, I will only note the really insane ones. As others may have noted in the past, BW Metals Megatron uses some... truly strange threats. In the first episode, he warned Blackarachnia that further betrayal would result in... gasp Megatron SINGING at her! In today's episode, he cuffs Silverbolt for not wanting to attack the Maximals and snarls: "If you ever question my orders again, I'll pluck your feathers like a parakeet and make you perch on my finger!" ... A vivid (if somewhat confusing) image, but hardly the eloquent invective most have come to expect from Megatron. As the episodes are rapidly melting into one confusing lump of images in my mind, I'll briefly list the Quotes of the Episode, the Oscar Moment, and Cute Little Japanese Cultural References. Cute Little Japanese Cultural Reference (CLJCR) #1: Whenever TM Tarantulas drives off on motorcycle mode, he starts singing "Paralira-paralira--!" This is a reference to Bousouzoku, or Japanese motorcycle gangs, which are known for using incongruously cheery or silly-sounding horns to trumpet their approach. Quote of the Episode: Megatron's View of the Cybertrons. Silverbolt: "These Cybertrons... they're stupid! They have no chance of winning against us, since they're vastly outnumbered, but they keep trying!" [Or something to that effect. I was too tired to write out the whole quote.] Megatron: "They may be ugly, with nasty-bad horrible prsonalities, but they're not stupid." Oscar Moment: Silverbolt Knocks Megsie Off of a Cliff Megatron (falling): "Noooooo---- Why meeee----" Silverbolt: "It looks like I'm not cut out for being a Destron." Megatron (falling): "Sure looks that waaaay-----" [some sort of boring exchange with Primal about joining the team] Megatron (voice only): "How long am I going to keep falling----" Random Observation: Japanese Rhinox goes into "The Other Matrix", rather than the other side of the Matrix. A Minor point, I know. As well, when he awakens he tells Rattrap that he's been "Where all become one", to which Rattrap replies: "I'm just a little kid, so I don't get it." Riiiiiiight. This concludes my protracted ramble on "The New Warriors Appear! Snippety-bra!" and "Come back, Convoy!" aka episodes 2 and 3 of Beast Wars Metals. . . . Characters Gallery Library The Nexus

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