End of the Road, Revised
CHAPTER FOUR:
In which our story ends. Maybe. Perhaps.
The scene shifts to the Botcon infirmary. God Bot (still in Picard42 form) is stretched out on a hospital bed. Buster stands (?) at his side as the computer displays a display of Picard42's vital functions on a display. Display.
Nurse Tracks: Hmmm, let's see... Sarcasm's at 150, Sense of Humour's at 250, Emotional Maturity's still at 13...
Picard42 begins to regain consciousness.
Buster: Picard42! Thank god you're alive.
Picard42: GAH!!! TRACKS!!
He faints.
Nurse Tracks: Oh, he's so cute when he's passed out!
Buster: ... That's the third time this has happened. You don't suppose you could, say, LEAVE before you traumatize him further?!
Nurse Tracks: Are you sure you don't want me to dress him in one of those cute little hospital gowns? The ones that open in the back? *wink*
Buster: LEAVE. NOW.
Nurse Tracks leaves the infirmary, pouting, as Megatron33 and PerceptorTFWW enter.
PerceptorTFWW: Is he...
Buster: Resting. *sob* Oh master, I'll never leave your side again...
Megatron33: Don't feel so bad. It isn't that bad. I mean it's bad, but it's not bad bad, so you shouldn't feel bad about how bad this is. Heh.
Buster turns to Megatron33 with a grim look on his face.
Buster: Where's Killer Bot King Man?
Megatron33: He's... uh... occupied.
Buster: And where's Killer Bot Queen Girl?
Megatron33: She's... also occupied.
Buster: Who cares how occupied they are? They should be here for Picard42, in his time of need!
Tinky-Winky (off-screen): God Bot will always be with you, young hero.
Po (off-screen): Not yet!
Laa-Laa (off-screen): Big hug! Big hug!
Buster, Megatron33, and PerceptorTFWW turn to face the four Teletubbies.
Buster, Megatron33, and PerceptorTFWW: The Vekk! A strange Teletubby-like offshoot of the Vok, who are a strange one-headed Quintesson-like race that appears in Beast Wars!
Picard42 (waking up): Hey guys, what are you doing h-- GAH!
He sees the Teletubbies, and plays dead.
Po: Naw, we're the real article. Not those knockoff-Vekks. *disdainful sniff*
Tinky-Winky: God Bot's death has a reason behind it, as do all things. His legacy is not over, for it shall still continue well into the next millenium. Arise, Perceptimus Prime...
Po: NOT YET!
Tinky-Winky: ... And so Killer Bot King Man shall beget Liquid Velcro, Prince of Destruction, who shall beget-- Eh? I'm not supposed to say this part yet?
Megatron33: What? Killer Bot King Man's going to "beget"? I thought-
Laa-Laa: Only Picard42's genitalia were erased in his protoform conversion to God Bot.
Megatron33, Buster, and PerceptorTFWW: ...
Laa-Laa: Er, I mean... Big hug! Big hug!
Picard42: ... What? My mommy told me that all good little Jewish boys get that done to them!
PerceptorTFWW (edging away): Uh... yeah... Whatever...
Po: ... Aaaaanyways. I'm bored. Let's see if there's anything interesting on ATT.
ALL: YAY! WE LOVE ATT!
Buster: Say... what happened to Quezovercoatl, anyways?
Back at Market Square Arena...
Quezovercoatl: I'm... dying... Someone... help me...
Mystery Voice #2: Silly Quezovercoatl... You were able to save yourself at any moment you wanted!
Quezovercoatl: Wh- who are you, Mystery Voice?
Perceptor, Seeker of Ultimate Truths: I'm the Good Usenet Fairy of the North! Now, just click your ruby slippers and repeat after me....
Back in the Infirmary, Picard42, Megatron33, PerceptorTFWW and the four Teletubbies are staring at a laptop computer screen.
Picard42 (reading): "Greetings, ATT! This is to let you know that I will no longer be posting under my old nick of Quezovercoatl the Feathered Boa! From now on, my new screen name will be Picard42"... What the hell?
Megatron33: Haha! Looks like you'll have to add a TFWW to your name too!
PerceptorTFWW: Here we go again!
ALL: HAHAHA!
THE END
Credits: Based on "The End of the Road, Parts 1 to 4" by William Rendfeld. Also based on The Wizard of Oz, The Lion King, Transformers: The Movie, Hamlet, The Brothers Karamazov, and, in fact, every work of fiction to ever exist anywhere. Adapted without permission by Quezovercoatl the Feathered Boa, coz (unless you're Weird Al Yankovic) getting permission to do a satire sort of defeats the purpose. Written and Created by: Quezovercoatl the Feathered Boa Swift Eagle Buster the Guinea Pig "OBEY THE CHEESE", lyrics by: David Willis adapted lyrics by: Quezovercoatl the Feathered Boa Music by: Elton John "RUGER'S SONG" (sp?), lyrics and music by: Those damned, damned souls that created "Quest for Camelot", and decided that "I have a plan, it includes you" would be a good line for a villain-song.
Copyrights: Beast Wars is the copyright and trademark of Hasbro Toy Group. Wazzzponator is the copyright of MG Dinobot, currently known as Cyber Raptor. E-mail him at megs@sympatico.ca to tell him to write more fanfics. Echowarrior, Ramblast, Echocia, Duchess, and the Cybertron Robot Mode Brigade are all created and owned by William Rendfeld. Teletubbies are annoying, according to WARendfeld, and he claims not to care who owns them, but for what it's worth I think they might be property of BBC. Feel free to correct me on this one. Scholastic Publishing Company owns Animorphs and all related items. Quezovercoatl the Feathered Boa (Tezuman God of Human Sacrifice) is owned and created by Terry Pratchett. Raksha the Plumed Serpent is owned by Avatar. And for the last time, no my screen name is NOT in reference to her. Horror of all horrors, I happened to encounter the Feathered Boa name BEFORE hearing of the illustrious Plumed Serpent. Sorry if that breaks anyone's heart. If you want a transcript of the whole fanfic, use your MOUSE (that's the funny oval-y thing attached to your COMPUTER) and CLICK on the word "File" at the top of your SCREEN. DRAG your MOUSE POINTER to the words "Save As...". Click. Save the Fanfic. E-mail me with profuse thanks and adulation at twotone@canada.com Brian Mulroney should have been taken out of office. Oh, wait, he was. Never mind. Quezovercoatl The Feathered Boa: 1978-1999? Thanks to the legendary WARendfeld for paving the way for godly, ego-inflating self-insertion characters everywhere. Thanks to the legendary MG Dinobot for just plain being amusing. And curse you for noting my fanfic on your site as a "Shrine to MG Dinobot". Satire is _not_ the sincerest form of flattery, really it's not. Thanks also to the WWFF Corps, who encouraged WARendfeld to continue his fanfics against all odds. Even despite the "Negrobot" fracas. Gods bless you guys. Finally, thanks to all the people who volunteered to be in this fanfic, and apologies to those who didn't. You like me! You really like me! ... Or not.
Voices: All in your head.
Cast: BlueJackal: Susan Blu. Buster: Buster, the Guinea Pig who likes the taste of human flesh. Dalmatian: Frank Welker. Dave Van Domelen: Frank Welker. Duchess: A dog with blue eyes who has skin like Mariah Carey in human morph. Echocia: Zinzi Garvin. Echowarrior: William A. Rendfeld. Finback: Scott McNeil. God Bot: Picard42 James Hooks: SHAFT! ... or not. Rob Jung: Frank Welker. Doug Kern: Monocle. Killer Bot King Man: David "Walky" Walkerton. Killer Bot Queen Girl: I dunno. Whoever she is, she sure is cute. Scott McNeil: Dinobot. Megasomething: Frank Welker. Megatron33: Megatron33. Megatron: Frank Welker. Nurse Tracks: Ru-Paul. PerceptorTFWW: Scott McNeil. Robert Powers: Peter Cullen (Guest Performer) Ramblast: Phillip Rendfeld. Starscream: Chris Latta (courtesy of Lilith S. Rael's sound montages) Soundwave: Frank Welker (courtesy of Lilith S. Rael's sound montages) Thrustor: Swift Eagle. (I know he wasn't in this one, but you can just file this away in the "Ah, so _that_'s the toy this character was based on!" part of your brain.) Thylacine2000: David Kaye. Wazzzponator: Swift Eagle. Weird Al Yankovic: Frank Welker. ZacWilliam: Frank Welker. (Note: These are who I imagined voicing the characters. This is meant as no insult to them.) (Note 2: Aw, who am I kidding. Feel free to be insulted if you're in the "Frank Welker as Voice In the Crowd #2" section.)
The characters and places named in this fanfic are fictional *snicker* and any similarity to persons living or deceased or undead is purely coincidental. Coming Soon: The forty-two part epic Quezovercoatl: Beyond. ... Or not.
REALLY THE END
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